As I sit on my phone scrolling through my twitter feed, I constantly come across pictures with one simple caption: “Goals.”
This picture is universal. Whether it’s an expensive car, an unrealistically toned body, or an outrageously beautiful couple, our generation has become obsessed with pinning the term “goals” on everything attractive.
At first, this doesn’t seem like a bad thing. We have all been told that we should be “goal oriented” and constantly “working towards our goals,” but our generation has completely redefined, and dare I say, warped the definition of goals.
The problem with the new age of goals is that we are constantly comparing our lives to others. When we see pictures on social media, we are only looking at the highlight reel of other people’s lives, but we compare it to the ugly details of our own. We only see images and short clips of our friends lives, and we want the entirety of ours to mirror it. Of course that relationship looks perfect on Instagram, and no doubt her bikini body looks perfect on twitter. That couple could’ve been fighting seconds before the picture was taken, and the girl with the perfect body probably spent a lot of time angling the camera to hide her insecurities. We never know the full story, only the parts worth sharing.
The problem of making other people’s lives our “goals” is when we aspire to be anyone other than ourselves, we will inevitably fall short.
We all have qualities that make us unique and special. For example, I have a friend who is very organized in every aspect of her life and I really admire that about her. Sometimes I look at her room or her notes and wish that mine would look half as neat as hers. While it’s not a bad thing to try and be more neat, if I try to make my room look like hers all the time, I will inevitably be let down because I’m just not a mini Martha Stewart like she is. On the contrary, even though I am not the most organized person, I am more equipped to handle spontaneity and to roll with the punches. If my friend looked at me and said “Kim’s flexibility is my goal” she would also be let down, because that is not her natural strong suit. However, if she focuses on being the most flexible person she can be, and I focus on being the most organized person I can be, we can be successful because we know that we are doing our best.
When we live our lives just for the sake of posting it out on social media, we are only living for the approval of our friends. Waiting for someone to comment “Goals (heart eyes emoji)” on your picture with your boyfriend shouldn’t be your actual relationship goal. Trying to make other people jealous of your own life through pictures and posts is an extremely unhealthy and unsatisfying way to seek confidence and affirmation. Anybody can look nice in pictures, but if we spent just as much time looking for inner peace as we do looking for filters, we could be a lot happier on the inside.
So next time you think you want to have “Bae Goals” stop, think, then remember that bagels are better than bae goals.